1:57 AM

1:57 AM

Dearest Nina,

I do not have the faintest idea of what you are thinking right now. I don't even want to pretend to know. But I am hoping for the best and expecting the worst. After our Great Misunderstanding last June, I am quite certain that your perception of who I am has deeply changed. For the worst, that is.

To you and your friends, I will be branded as "the-one-who-never-understood-you". And I readily concede to that title because I was always reversing roles with you when it came to who was right and who was wrong. This time, I am the guilty party but I still feel that we still had a lot to talk about. I don't want to point any fingers anymore because I really want to start all over again. But I know that will not happen anymore.

I have waited for two years to get back together with you. I have thought about the things that have led me to this decision to get up and try again. And I believe I have made this decision 6 months ago. I just wanted everything to be perfect that's why I delayed it this long. I wanted to get back together at the same time that you said "Yes" to me that sleep-stricken morning--1:57AM.

It has been 2 years but now, on the most important occasion of my life, I am unable to text, call or e-mail you because you told me not to. You got angry at me because I guess I deserved that kind of attitude from you. You might want to say that you got fed up with all of the bullsh*t that I've given you.

I would like to say sorry but I won't because it has been a word that has been overused in our relationship. I even think it has lost its meaning for me. But I still am regretful of the things that I have done to you in the past. And if given the choice, I would choose not to have met you at all so I couldn't hurt you how I did the past three years; how I'm hurting you right now. If ever I would be saying those words to you again, I would really mean it.

So now, on our "anniversary", I would still like to let you know that I still care for you and that I still love you. I miss you everyday. And when I look out the windows of my office my mind lingers on to the times we would smile at each other and suddenly feel our hearts beat a little faster. You were my dream girl but I didn't know what I had in you until you were gone.

I'm sorry Nina. I hope one sweet day, you can forgive me. I hope that a miracle will come to our lives and lead us back into each other's presence.

Until then,
Zeus



Better days.