A Hike with Jesus

A Hike with Jesus

Dear Jesus,

Why is it that the more you reveal Yourself to me, the more I can't understand You? I try with all my might to comprehend Your reasons for loving a bonafide sinner like me. I feel that I've failed miserably this week because I don't think I did much to make you smile. I didn't share the gospel, I skipped my quiet times, I would run to you for forgiveness only to trip for the nth time. I imagined you were shaking Your head at me but when You spoke to me yesterday, through a song that was never the case, was it? I heard You speak in my heart of hearts that You loved me no matter what. And You told me that I didn't have to fix my act up for You to come and stretch out Your hand.

You carried me this past week because You knew I couldn't take anymore the pain that I was harboring in my heart. You knew I didn't have a chance and You took it upon Yourself to right me up; and You carried me. I imagine that the road that we went through was rocky and the sharp and jagged pebbles never touched the soles of my feet. All because You said, You'd take me through this road----this trying time in my life. And as I regained consciousness, I would look back and behind us there was a trail of blood and I could see Your feet being pierced by the sharp and jagged rocks. And when I lifted my eyes to meet Yours, You simply smiled and said to me, "We're almost there." And at that time, I knew and felt Your love embrace the depths of my soul. "Stay with me, we're almost there," You said ever so gently.

As I write this letter, I shed tears of shame and at the same time, joy. I am ashamed that I couldn't go on the journey; I am ashamed because I couldn't walk with You the whole time. Most of all, I am ashamed because You had to carry me---that You had to bleed for someone who's failed You so many times. But You said that You'd do it over and over again, if that's what it takes for me to be with You.

I remember You saying, "We're here." I remember already standing and as I opened my eyes, I only saw You. I noticed that Your robe was all dirty while mine was as clean as the hour we started walking. Your tired, weary face still wearing a smile that was there from the very start. And as my vision improved, I saw that You carried me to a gentle and placid stream surrounded by sweet smelling flowers.. This was nothing like the road that we started on. And it was then that I understood Your heart. It was then that I saw Your heart for what it really was---a heart that is overflowing with Love for me.

As I was marveling at the sights I was beholding, You then gently lay Your hand upon my shoulder said, "Take your time. I'll be here. I won't leave you."
I don't know what to say, Jesus. That was one of the best journeys that You've led me to. It was difficult and I couldn't go on yet You stayed with me throughout the hike. Your smile while you carrying me, Your love that encompasses all human understanding, Your passion for me---those are the things I cannot understand about You. Yet those are the very same things that make me want to love You back.

Frankly, I'm glad that I went on that trip that You invited me to go to. We should do it again. You said You'd do it again but I hope I make it all the way next time.

Love,
Zeus