Musings of A Broken Heart

Musings of A Broken Heart

In this day, having our age, one would shudder to think what would happen if he or she didn't find a significant other to light that proverbial fire that provides indescribable inspiration one is so devoid of.

In this day, having our age, it would be such a frightening thought to grow old without having a partner you truly love and cherish.

In this day, being as old as I am, I catch myself almost everyday longing for a past love that was over before I even knew it was. You think to yourself that these events happen only in television but once the truth bites, it sinks its cold teeth into your reality and rips the fabric of your once comfortable world.

Nowadays, I find it extremely hard not to think about how and why I failed. I find myself going back to thoughts of a hundred yesterdays when life was good and when I had it easy. Not a day goes by that I don't regret saying a thousand and one hurtful words; not a minute paseses without me feeling the pangs of solitude. I let out a sigh because that is all that I can do. Try as I might, the past is already done and there are no real second chances in the world of men. In my world beset by jealousy, fear, anger, apathy and denial there are no good people.

There is only the passing of time and scarring of the heart. How I wish that both pass me by sooner. It is not something that I won't be able to bear but it is akin to a leech that sucks me dry of all that is good and joyous.

One of these days, I will meet another who will accept me despite the darkness of my soul.

One of these days, I will meet another who does not care about what happened in my past.

I just hope that I muster enough courage to open my tired and broken heart again. Until then, I numb myself from the pain and hope that nothing can ever revive this hurt again.