Taking The Road Less Travelled
There comes a time in a person's life when he has to move on. For me that moment cannot be any more timely than now. I am now at a point in my life wherein I choose to no longer be shackled by the limitations that have beset me during the past few years. I am tired and weary and I feel that I cannot go on any longer with what I have been. I am ready for learning yet another lesson that life has to offer--although I am still uncertain of what it is. Even if it a road less travelled, I am still willing to tread on it.
I am happy now because I am taking that next step: that eventful stage of stepping outside of my comfort zone. There is no one else I consider depending on except myself, my family and my extended family (short for friends). Whatever fastball that life will throw at me, I am more than willing to catch it--all 101.9 mph of it.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Behind The Mask
Behind The Mask
There will always be secrets that you will always keep from someone or everyone. I have a handful of friends who know my deepest secrets but they do not know me fully. I am slowly beginning to understand that I am a wearer of masks. And I do so not because I aim to deceive people but because I feel safer. I almost revel being behind a mask of pride than be under the spotlight of prejudice. I would rather slip behind the mask of apathy than see myself crumble to the ground when I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I feel the need for hiding is great because sometimes I believe that people will not accept me if I do not fit into their standards of what a person should be. Fortunately I have about 2 or 3 people I know who accepts me for who I am. But sometimes I cannot help but think to myself if they will ever change in the future...after all, everybody does.
I miss the comfort of long conversations when someone will really want to listen to me and my tales of sorrow, happiness, guilt, confusion, defeat, victory and survival. I miss having to sit down with someone who honestly and wholeheartedly wants to just listen to me. That's it---just listen. I think people underestimate the power and luxury of having a friend you can count on when all else in your world breaks down.
In the end, after all the distractions have lost their luster, after you've focused so much on yourself, when you feel this type of loneliness, you will understand what I am talking about. You'll just want to have someone to really care about what's happening to you.
Until then, I will wear my masks in the hopes that someone will see right through me.
There will always be secrets that you will always keep from someone or everyone. I have a handful of friends who know my deepest secrets but they do not know me fully. I am slowly beginning to understand that I am a wearer of masks. And I do so not because I aim to deceive people but because I feel safer. I almost revel being behind a mask of pride than be under the spotlight of prejudice. I would rather slip behind the mask of apathy than see myself crumble to the ground when I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I feel the need for hiding is great because sometimes I believe that people will not accept me if I do not fit into their standards of what a person should be. Fortunately I have about 2 or 3 people I know who accepts me for who I am. But sometimes I cannot help but think to myself if they will ever change in the future...after all, everybody does.
I miss the comfort of long conversations when someone will really want to listen to me and my tales of sorrow, happiness, guilt, confusion, defeat, victory and survival. I miss having to sit down with someone who honestly and wholeheartedly wants to just listen to me. That's it---just listen. I think people underestimate the power and luxury of having a friend you can count on when all else in your world breaks down.
In the end, after all the distractions have lost their luster, after you've focused so much on yourself, when you feel this type of loneliness, you will understand what I am talking about. You'll just want to have someone to really care about what's happening to you.
Until then, I will wear my masks in the hopes that someone will see right through me.
