Inexhaustible Joy

Inexhaustible Joy

I just had another realization. I realized that I'm not yet ready for a relationship yet. Not in the near future. I know this because something happens when I become involved in a relationship. The last time I had a girlfriend, she became my god. I realized that when I am in a relationship, I cannot help but put her on a pedestal.

I ran a search in the Internet for that particular idiom and I came up with this:

Idiom: put someone on a pedestal (place someone on a pedestal)
Meaning: To admire or revere them extremely; to idolize them.

So there. The last time I was in a relationship, I tried so hard to give her my time, energy and effort that I never had room for anybody else in my life. Most especially God. This time, I'd want it the other way around. I mean, to some people it just doesn't make any sense but I readily surrender that part of me to my Lord. This time, I'd want to have a relationship with Him so much that I'll forget that I ever wanted to find a partner in this makeshift Eden we call life. I spent the better part of my life trying to find "Ms. Right" but I've only managed to scar and traumatize myself in the process. And when I decided to finally seek God with all my heart, He readily welcomed me with open arms, covering me with a love that can only be as high as the heavens.

Whatever God's plan is for me, I can only say that it is for the best and that he wants to bless me so much. Jeremiah 29:11 by itself can attest to that. For now, all I want to concentrate on is God. I will be waiting for His leading and His promise.

I would like to share something that I recently read.

"We should, to begin with, think that God leads a very interesting life, and that he is full of joy. Undoubtedly he is the most joyous being in the universe. The abundance of his love and generosity is inseperable from his infinite joy. All of the good and beautiful things from which we occasionally drink tiny droplets of soul-exhilarating joy, God continuously experiences in all their breadth and depth...We are enraptured by a well-done movie sequence or by a few bars from an opera or lines from a poem. We treasure our great experiences for a lifetime, and we may have very few of them. But he is simply one great inexhaustible and eternal experience of all that is good and true and beautiful and right." (The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life with God)

If God wants me to forgo having an earthly relationship so that I can even get a glimpse of His inexhaustible and eternal joy, then let's get this show on the road.

Lord, I am Yours all of my days.