In His Own Image

In His Own Image

There was a time when I would be so down, so consumed by sadness for the loss of someone very dear that I was able to come up with this:

"Before the Slumber"

I speak of a thousand heartbreaks
I claim the sadness of the world
and for the briefest of Eternities,
the tears start to fall.

And in the descent of water and salt
I find the union of hope and despair
My eyes gaze upon the clear sky
which bades dark hues from afar.

I sing the saddest of songs
while caught in the dirge of innumerables
lazily making their way down the earth
I am soaked but still I am thirsty for you.

It seems that I am otherwise trapped
in this fleeting melancholy
And I cannot wait to break free
to manage a faint smile before I sleep.

by Zeus Martinez
July 17, 2004


I sometimes wonder how much I hurt back then. I think about the pain I must have gone through to be able to write those words that express what I was feeling inside. It seems that now I occasionally have to dig deep in my memory in order to remind myself how much hurt I've been through. Now, it seems like a memory that is long gone; a memory like a mist in the wind.

Now, when my heart aches, I have a comforter to help soothe my sorrow. Unlike the false comforts of the past, the comfort that I hold onto now is one that is much more stable. Now, God is my strength. It is a type of comfort that is invisible, yes, but hardly absent. The more I've gotten to know Him in these past few months, I have felt His presence and His love. Because we were all created in His image and likeness, we are blessed beyond our comprehension. Today, this is one of the verses that I cling onto for comfort despite my selfish ways:

Isaiah 57:18"I have seen his ways but I will heal him. I will guide him and restore comfort to him."

There is a certain analogy about how God molds our character. God is like a silversmith. "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

One woman was puzzled by this verse and decided to watch a silversmith at work. She watched as the silversmith held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot, then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

With all of the hurt I am experiencing right now, I am being placed over the fire because I am being purified beyond my understanding. Whatever impurities I have in me, they are testings of character and I wholeheartedly trust my Maker to do whatever to me so I can fulfill His purpose and my design. Right now, I am a work in progress; I can barely wait for the finished product.