To Court Love is to Court Pain

To Court Love is to Court Pain

I am an observer by nature. I find myself looking and listening than talking the night away in a random gathering.

And what I have observed is that people know so little about love and the equal amount of pain it can potentially cause. People are absolutely oblivious to the fact that whenever you court love, you court pain. That is a pre-given and nobody is exempted from the sting of lost or broken love. It is a feeling that everybody goes through whether you have been in one relationship or a hundred. That is the premise that I wish to share:

"Whenever you truly, genuinely love someone, you must also be prepared to hurt as much."

I have heard countless stories of people loving another only for the story to end when the person leaves their current love for a better deal. I have heard of couples in a relationship who split up because the other person finds it easier to concentrate on his job rather than the relationship. All of a sudden, from #1 to almost gone.

It is a sad and dreadful truth; one which looms over us like a dark cloud upon us before the downpour. And all of us have no control over it as much as we cannot stop a single drop of rain from falling. We cannot master Love because it can be taken from us as much as it is freely given. It is a reality we must all face that if we say "Yes" to someone else, we must also consider the fine print that comes with it. It might be prudent to include after the affirmation the following phrases:

"I am allowing my vulnerability to be exposed."

"I give you the right to hurt me."

"I know this will hurt if you leave but let's try anyway."

No one can dictate to us who we want to love. And that is the truth that some people forget. If you love a person, that is all because you decide it upon yourself that this particular man or woman is worthy of your love. But when the person does not reciprocate the love that you bestow, that is only because of this one God-given right. It will be probably one of the one greatest possessions we mortals will ever have.

It is called free will.

We shouldn't blame the person we give our love to for loving someone else other than us because it is not right. We give our love to someone; we surrender everything else except our souls to this one person not because it is a requirement. We do it not because we are obliged to, but because we want to. Out of all the people in the world that we have met, like a king knighting a soldier with his royal scepter, we choose to love one person. But let us not forget that we are not kings or queens.

The love that we bestow upon this person is honorable, yes...but our word is not final. The person can always say "No".

Or leave us...

Or go behind our back...

Or cheat on us...

There are a thousand and one reasons why someone will decline but that should not be taken as a reflection of our inadequacy or incompetence. They are all part of a plan. As to what plan and why it is structured as such, I have no clue.

All I can say is that all of us have our own journeys to follow. I would like to think that whenever we fail in a relationship, it does not mean that we are bad people. To me those slips and "failures" are just stepping stones we must need to cross in order for us to get to the other side. We should look at these as rocks in a river which will bring us closer to the The One.

It just so happens that some people have wider rivers to cross, faster currents to keep cautious of, and stronger gusts of wind to fight while crossing that proverbial river. And so we must bid our time, wait for the right opportunity when we should jump onto the next rock. Or else we will just slip because of the raging water, lose balance because of the wind, and fail once again.

Once you understand how your surroundings are and how the river flows, you should do just fine.