Back To Square One

Back To Square One

Frankly, I'm glad they proved everyone wrong. Including myself.

The once-lopsided Finals has now become an actual series. With the teams tied two games apiece, the pivotal game 5 will then allow us a glimpse of who will actually walk away with the trophy this year. It seems that as the series has progressed, the two teams have become more surprisingly unpredictable with their level of play. With their backs against the wall at the start of Game 3, the Detroit Pistons showed their resolve and completed a statement game against the visiting Spurs. As if to say, "Not in our town.", the Detroit Pistons bullied their way to a 17-point victory against the San Antonio Spurs. With four seconds into the game, Ben Wallace stole an entry pass, cruised from one side of the court to another and jammed it home. And one.

"Never underestimate the heart of a champion."

After those first two points by Wallace, that was all she wrote. But what's amazing is that amidst all of the success of the Detroit Pistons, critics have been able to rationalize why they won last year's championship---why they got this far. People say, they've advanced because someone else was hurt.


Could these players' injuries be the reason for the Pistons' success?

Critics explain that last year, they only won against the Nets because Jason Kidd was hurt; they downed the Lakers in six games because Malone was hurt; this season, they eliminated the Pacers because Artest was nowhere to be found; in the conference finals, they got past Miami because Shaq and Dwayne Wade was hurt. And when they exited out of the Palace of Auburn Hills after Game 3, there were whispers. Careless whispers. The only reason why the Pistons won tonight was because Manu got hurt.

How did the champions respond?


Detroit celebrating their Game 4 win.

They wrested game 4 from the San Antonio Spurs and dropped a 102 points on them. They won by 31 points and had 7 players score in double figures. Same team, different result.

"Never underestimate the heart of a champion."

For the first time in this finals series, you could see that there is something different in this Detroit team. After two games at home, you realize that this isn't a team who will back down from any challenge. The more they got beat, the hungrier they became. As hungry as five blocks in the one quarter by Big Ben; as hungry as 7 players in double figures; as hungry as a 31-point win.


Detroit did not allow any easy shots this time.

Game 5 will be one of the closest games that this series will allow because it's a must-win game for the Spurs. If San Antonio goes back home down 3-2, they will be forced to win the sixth game. But if the Pistons lose, they can only say one thing about it: Been there done that. The Detroit Pistons, last year, dropped Game 5 at home against the New Jersey Nets. They played that game for four hours, including three overtimes. After the loss, Chauncey Billups just casually said, "It's going to make us a lot hungrier." They proceeded to win Game 6 as well as the series to advance to the NBA Finals. They made history by sweeping the three middle games to win their first NBA champsionship in 14 years.

"Never underestimate the heart of a champion."

Whatever happens in the games to come, the Detroit Pistons show that they can respond to a challenge. They've turned this NBA Finals into a must-see series as this face-off features one of the more evenly matched series in the last five years. The Pistons have responded and have done so quite convincingly. All they need to do is play this fifth game as if it were their last and history will be on their side.

Snap, Crackle, Pop!

Snap, Crackle Pop!

There was a time that I would get sprained ankles as often as once a month but that was back when I was playing basketball almost everyday. This time, however, I managed to sustain my most excruciating ankle sprain ever. I know this for a fact because a few hours into the injury, my ankle swelled so much that it seemed like I had something like a billiard ball in it. Yeah, I know it's gross. Tell me about it.

In the game, I managed to bother a shot attempt but I also landed hard on my friend's foot. I twisted my ankle so hard and so acute that I literally ripped my shoe's outer mesh on my way to the pavement.



That big, vertical white stripe you see wasn't there before.

It was so painful that I couldn't breathe; as if someone jabbed me in the stomach. Ouch. Now, I'm just praying that it's just a first-degree ankle sprain and nothing more.

Now, I'm still trying to walk and it is still sore. The blacks around my ankle are starting to show up as if they were beaten silly by a baseball bat. I won't be posting any pics so as not to gross anyone out. ^_^ I just wanted to share to you what I should have immediately done right after the injury to speed up the recovery:

1. Elevate the injured part above the level of the heart.

2. Treat the ankle with cold applications (ice packs, snow, or immersion in a cold stream) on-and-off for 30 minute intervals for the first 24 to 48 hours. This is to minimize swelling.

3. Avoid weight bearing as best possible. Because the injured joint is immediately weakened, do not rely on it AT ALL for great exertion. Hop on one leg, get a crutch, have someone help you while you walk, buy a wheelchair, I dont care. Whatever you do, DO NOT use that injured ankle for any support.

4. Have a lot of Ponstan or Advil ready. ^_^

Hope you have an ankle sprain-free lifetime!

2 Games Away from Fishing

2 Games Away from Fishing

Game 2 of the NBA finals showcased the tenacity and fervor that you would expect of a championship team. They played outstanding defense, outhustled the opposing team, blocked shots, got their share of rebounds and let's face it: they played the right way.

No, not the Detroit Pistons. The other champion.

Few people remember how the San Antonio Spurs rose to the top of the NBA elite two years ago. This season was highlighted by a season-long suspension of the former Best Defensive Player, a Phoenix team who was prophesized to go all the way, a quiet Miami sophomore who raised his game more than Lebron James and the retirement of NBA legend, Reggie Miller. Amidst all of the ruckus, the San Antonio Spurs kept their poise and did not take their eyes off their goal. After all, the only thing that prevented them from getting to the NBA Finals last year was a fluke shot by Derek Fisher in the pivotal Game 5 of the Spurs-Lakers series with 0.4 seconds left. Call it what you want, but it was a lucky shot.

Now, the San Antonio Spurs are looking to get back the title that was taken away from them---and it seems they are dead serious about it. With the way that you see them play, it just escapes you how they were able to lose to a Lakers team that lost to a team they've just 2-0'ed. You may cut the Detroit Pistons their share of slack, after all, they're "distracted" right now because of rumors that coach Larry Brown will not be staying after this season. But the thing is, in the NBA Finals, you cannot be distracted. When you're at this level--playing against the best--you better learn the meaning of the word "focus" or it will undoubtedly introduce itself to you the hard way.

Try looking at how irritatingly elusive Manu Ginobili can be or how fast and sly Tony Parker can be without the ball. Study the quiet Tim Duncan and you'll understand what his team is all about---focus.


Tim Duncan doesn't take his eyes of the goal.
Just look at how much energy these guys expend without the ball and you'll understand why the San Antonio Spurs get easy baskets off backdoor cuts or uncontested layups. Add in to the mix their very own four-leaf clover in the person of Robert Horry and you can make a very amusing case for the chances of the Spurs this year. With most of the teams that he's been traded to, Horry's team has gone to win the NBA finals that year. Yes, I know. I also couldn't believe it when I heard it myself.


Robert Horry is searching for his 6th NBA championship ring this year.

I throw all caution to the wind when I say that I believe that the San Antonio Spurs will win this year's Larry O'Brien trophy. The reason why I have made up my mind is not because of the 2-0 lead that the San Antonio Spurs have as of the moment. It's because of how easily they were able to go up two games against a supposed champion. They won against the former champion and they did so convincingly in Game 2.

"Never question the heart of a champion." The saying has been echoed each and every time that a champion seems to be down and out. I would side with the Detroit Pistons on this one because they are, after all, last year's NBA champions but let's not forget that the other team is too. As what one San Antonio news reporter has mentioned, the San Antonio Spurs are on a roll right now. " It is hard to imagine the Spurs, who have won eight of their last nine games, losing four of their next five."

The delicate balance of momentum has been tipped in favor of San Antonio. If the Detroit Pistons don't respond next game, then you might as well skip the next few games and prepare a parade route for the Spurs. After all, it's not too late for the Pistons to go fishing.

Pistons cool off Miami

Pistons cool off Miami

For the Miami fans who expected Shaq to return to the Finals, it won't happen this year. Maybe next time. This time, however, the Detroit Pistons are still Eastern Conference champs. And like most people, I am still doubtful of their ability to repeat as NBA champions because they're facing a more focused squad in this year's finals in the team of the San Antonio Spurs.



For those of you who wanted a different turnout of Game 7 in the 2005 Eastern Conference Finals, please click here how Miami dismantled the Detroit Pistons.

Awesome, funny read. =)

In His Own Image

In His Own Image

There was a time when I would be so down, so consumed by sadness for the loss of someone very dear that I was able to come up with this:

"Before the Slumber"

I speak of a thousand heartbreaks
I claim the sadness of the world
and for the briefest of Eternities,
the tears start to fall.

And in the descent of water and salt
I find the union of hope and despair
My eyes gaze upon the clear sky
which bades dark hues from afar.

I sing the saddest of songs
while caught in the dirge of innumerables
lazily making their way down the earth
I am soaked but still I am thirsty for you.

It seems that I am otherwise trapped
in this fleeting melancholy
And I cannot wait to break free
to manage a faint smile before I sleep.

by Zeus Martinez
July 17, 2004


I sometimes wonder how much I hurt back then. I think about the pain I must have gone through to be able to write those words that express what I was feeling inside. It seems that now I occasionally have to dig deep in my memory in order to remind myself how much hurt I've been through. Now, it seems like a memory that is long gone; a memory like a mist in the wind.

Now, when my heart aches, I have a comforter to help soothe my sorrow. Unlike the false comforts of the past, the comfort that I hold onto now is one that is much more stable. Now, God is my strength. It is a type of comfort that is invisible, yes, but hardly absent. The more I've gotten to know Him in these past few months, I have felt His presence and His love. Because we were all created in His image and likeness, we are blessed beyond our comprehension. Today, this is one of the verses that I cling onto for comfort despite my selfish ways:

Isaiah 57:18"I have seen his ways but I will heal him. I will guide him and restore comfort to him."

There is a certain analogy about how God molds our character. God is like a silversmith. "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

One woman was puzzled by this verse and decided to watch a silversmith at work. She watched as the silversmith held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot, then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

With all of the hurt I am experiencing right now, I am being placed over the fire because I am being purified beyond my understanding. Whatever impurities I have in me, they are testings of character and I wholeheartedly trust my Maker to do whatever to me so I can fulfill His purpose and my design. Right now, I am a work in progress; I can barely wait for the finished product.

A Matter of Perspective

A Matter of Perspective

There are times when any ordinary day spent under the sun will be just like that: ordinary. But there are times when it just hits me that I am blessed beyond comprehension. I started my day by opening my email and I saw an email forwarded by my mom.

"You Are Blessed"

If you woke up this morning
with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won't survive the week.

If you have never experienced
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.

If you attend a church meeting
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank,
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still married and alive,
you are very rare,
especially in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile
on your face and are truly thankful,
you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them
or even touch them on the shoulder,
you are blessed because you can
offer God's healing touch.

If you can read this message,
you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world
that cannot read anything at all.

You are so blessed in ways
you may never even know.


Sometimes, all we do is complain about why the food we're eating is too salty or why we still don't have the latest iPod or why church has to start so early on Sunday morning. I know people who even absolutely hate carrying spare change in their pocket or wallet because it's (get this) "too heavy".

Compared to a lifetime burden of not being able to feed your family if you're one of the few million people in Africa, I don't think that can be considered too heavy.

If we'd only learn to count our blessings and give thanks to the One who bestowed those blessings upon us, our eyes would be opened and our entire perspective on how we live will definitely change.

It would be doing injustice to the cliché if I mentioned it one more time but like all clichés, there is a simplicity which it holds and that is the truth.

You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

Just being able to read this post of mine, you are already one of the very few people who can go on the Internet. Whether you see it or not, you are indeed blessed.

Not Of This World

Not Of This World

"When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

This weekend, I discovered something new again. I discovered that one of the most liberating and most profound human acts that one can do is to ask forgiveness from someone. I say this without any partiality because I am, after all, a romantic at heart as well as a good-natured person. But there is something else in asking for forgiveness than initial embarassment; there is a realization involved.

In my example, I realized that there was something wrong in bearing a grudge against someone. I realized that this double-edged sword we call Hate can poison our heart and cloud our thinking. It is no wonder that we, as a species, are always at war. We wonder why it is a dog-eat-dog world when we succumb to our own anger and selfish pride.

I recently met someone who has the power of telekenesis and clairvoyance. In his case, the ability he had was foresight. As much as it is fascinating and mind-boggling, it is nowhere near as liberating as hindsight. And for all intents and purposes, I thank God that for me, it has been 20/20.

If we observe ourselves as creatures of nature, we will notice that somewhere along the line, we look after our own needs more than we look after the needs of others. It is a natural thing for us to find nourishment to help keep our bodies strong; it is natural for us to find shelter when are exposed to extreme temperatures. Without this natural impulse to look after our well-being, we will be unable to survive at all. We are also subject to the same rule as a thinking member of the clockwork community we dub as the human society. But as selfish people, we are consumed by pride and hate. When someone wrongs us, the automatic reaction is to retaliate without even thinking things through or assuming a paradigm shift.

Matthew 6:14-15 (14) For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. (15) But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

I felt a sense of freedom and overwhelming unexplicable relief after I asked for forgiveness from the person that I wronged. When I knew everything was okay; when I knew I was already forgiven, I felt I could walk upright without shame because in my heart I knew I was already right with this person.

There is something ethereal about forgiving. I have realized that it is not of this world where competitive advantage is the formula for success and revenge is deemed a personal right. The reason why forgiveness is so alien to us is because it is something supernatural---something that is beyond us and our earthly existence. It gives us a glimpse of a destination that is not bound by time and space. It tells us that there is something else out there. And no matter how much we squint our eyes towards the heavens, it will only be revealed to us in the end of our earthly lives.

Once we realize there is a cataract that is blinding us from the world we are supposed to be seeing, there is nothing else we would like than for it to dissolve away.

There is a sense of mystery when a mountaineer stands on top of the highest mountain and sees nothing but clouds stretching from the horizon or when a person sees the grandeur of the setting sun against the horizon of the Pacific. I can only imagine the heartbeat of an astronaut when he stares into the canvas of the universe from his space shuttle.

The more we climb, the higher we go, we feel a tug that says, "I am not meant to be here. I am supposed to be somewhere else."

Last weekend, my insurmountable mountain---the unreachable "vastness of space" that I call, was asking for forgiveness. And it brought me closer to where I want to be.

A Tribute

A Tribute

In this life, we will be repeatedly introduced to goodbyes and to farewells. I have once again said goodbye to people I have worked with, to people I have formed friendships and bonds with. No matter how small a deal you make of it, it really, actually isn't.

And so as I move on with the next chapter of my life, I would like to pay tribute and give thanks to the people who made my 10 months and 7 days in YEHEY! absolutely memorable.



First and foremost, I would like to thank my boss, Kevin for allowing me the opportunity to work for a household name such as YEHEY! Thank you for your belief in me. I wish the company all the best. God bless!



...to Andrew for teaching me that it is possible to achieve something as long as your work your way to it. If you can lose a significant amount of pounds by working hard on it, then I'm sure I also can. God bless you and your family in the U.K. You are very blessed to be able to work there!



...to Euge who has been always helping me with the Jobs admin thing and who has made my job much much muuuuch easier, thanks to you bro. God bless your lovelife! I hope to see you in the coming games.



...to George for always keeping the mood of the office light with his antics. I still won't forget that you were the one who installed Counterstrike sa pc ko. Thanks for all your help bro.



...to Mike for working hard to create the pages we now see in YEHEY! Jobs. They look exactly as what we wanted them to be. Maglaro ka naman sa basketball! :p



...to Joseph for always being "game" in the YEHEY!Jobs fairs and for always making sure that everything else is in order. Thank you for your perseverance and your patience. I will miss our bonding times. Take care and God bless in your schooling.



...to Cedric for being the epitome of patience. I learned that it is possible to be patient in all things.



...to Marlon for trying his best to go to the basketball games. (nagkataon daming lakad lang) Ü Thanks for your time, bro. It was fun playing ball with you.



...to Melvin for remembering that one time that we played basketball together. Honestly I forgot about that. That only means that you need to come to the games more often. I hope to see you there, bro. Take care of yourself.



...to Ogie for being very accomodating when I had trouble with my PC. Thank you for being there to take care of the restarts and everything else.



...to Aimee for all the bonding times and for all the times you accomodated my PC needs. I will miss just laughing with you and eating chocolates with you. One time, ice cream tayo sa Podium ulit!



...to Appie for being such a good person to me and for always being such an easy person to talk to.



...to Dong, who is pursuing his career somewhere else. Nevertheless, I still thank him for being a great friend.



...to Ehmil who seemed almost like a younger brother to me; for being such a great friend even though we've only known each other for such a short while.



...to Charm for being so friendly and for helping me out in my YEHEY!Jobs excel pipeline. I won't forget that thoughtful gesture of yours.



...to Diane for helping man the booths in the job fairs and for being such a sweet friend. Hope you're able to start reading Neil Gaiman soon.



...to Greg for being such a cordial and gentlemanly person to me. You've been nothing but nice to me, bro. I won't forget you man. God bless in the big events in your life.



...to Elaine for basically just sweating it out and helping me out with the YEHEY!Jobs fairs as well as the ingress and egress of those events. Also, for teaching me what "ingress" and "egress" means. ^_^ For being so open with me and for being one of my good friends in the office.



...to Lors who is now in China. I can't even begin to let you know how much a joy it was to work in YEHEY! with you around. I miss you so much! There's so many good and cheerful memories that come up to the surface when I think about you. Come back to Manila na!



...to Carla who I thought was going to be quieter than Lors. Teehee! I just don't know but I immediately clicked with you. I'll miss our 7-11 days, gym trips and most especially your high-pitched "Huh?!?" or almost squealing "Huwat?!" I can almost hear you say those expressions just by typing them. Hehe! Can't wait to hang out with you and the rest of the bunch again!



...to Iggy who is now also moving on with his career. (I hope I didn't influence you in any way though) I will be missing your occasional emails regarding the latest web sites that are either fun or lewd in whatever manner as well as your regular Photoshop spoofs of the people in the office. I will definitely miss a lot about you. YEHEY! will not be the same without you, that's for sure.



...to Jay for being da man when it comes to doing mock-ups and websites. You are truly an inspiration to me. Keep honing your talent and don't be ever complacent with it. Your eye for photography will take you places. God bless you bro. May you live out a good testimony for others to see.



...to Bert for helping me out from the most trivial of things like giving me updates on the status of the peso vs. the dollar to the most important like giving me advices on relationships.



...to Peachy who has always been a patron of the breakfast club. ^_^ I will miss your occasional "birit" while you have your headphones on, oblivious to the operatic performance you are already subjecting us to.



...to Daryl for being the most reliable source of chismax in the office. I know it's your job to know those bits of information but your impeccable recall really is something. Thank you for refreshing my memory on the Batibot song about a carabao named "Puti". =)



...to Lasz for helping me out in whatever way he can---may it be from finishing that 6-letter word in Text Twist or explaining to me how certain effects are accomplished in photography. I shall miss your riddles, your random quips about the most random of things. God bless in all the things that you do.



...to Joe. We go a long way back. Even if we never had the chance to really work together, I thank you for all the times that you let me hitch a ride. Even when we were co-workers, I still had to hitch a ride with you going home! Hehehe! Take care of yourself, dude! Thanks for everything!



...to Kankan for being such a good friend. Always guard your heart and yourself. I have drawn inspiration from you before and I still do. No matter what comes in life, I know you'll be able to get through it. Thank you for teaching me that.



...to Jeff for being one of the most simple people in the office. I salute you for being able to stand for what you believe in and for using your talents to inspire others to do the same. I will be working on my moves and when that day comes that you decide to teach us a whole dance routine, I'll be ready.



...to Ninay and Marie for being such a big help in the manning of booths in the previous job fairs. May the wind take you where you need to go. Best regards to the both of you.



...to Moby for being such a down-to-earth kinda guy! I never knew our world was as small as it turned out to be. God bless you in whatever job you may pursue! Thanks for the 411 on Jomar too! ^_^



...to Kinney for being one of the most friendliest faces in the office. Even as an intern, you were always so nice to bump into. Keep that cheerful disposition that you have and always remember that being co-workers for only one day doesn't change the respect I have for you. It was great being able to talk and bond with you. Don't ever change! =>



...to Alex who was such a blast being with. You redefined "late lunch". I hope you're doing well, wherever you may be. Godspeed!



...to Tomy for being such a quiet and calm person around boisterous people. Thank you for teaching me how to resize a picture in photoshop, for sharing your food with me, for accompanying me to 7-11 for the occasional afternoon Peanut ice cream snack we have to being a teammate in our weekly basketball club. God bless you in your work. Your kindness was always evident ever since. May you continue to live a Christian life for Him.

These last few thank yous will be for the people who have dearly affected my life in YEHEY! Without them I would have not survived both in the literal and figurative sense. These are the people closest to my heart---the ones I trust without abandon. The ones I would kill and maim for.



...to Maan who has been my friend for more than 6 years. She has become a witness to everything from my college crushes to my smoking years and most recently my brush with alcohol overdose (which I hope will never happen again) Hehe! You have been such an inspiration and a wonderful example of how it is to lead. Your simultaneous calmness and tenacity has been my guide for the past 10 months. You are one of the biggest reasons why I was able to stay in YEHEY! You are the reason why I believe in the goodness of people despite the contradictory examples all around us. You will always be one of my most treasured friends and I will always remember YEHEY! not because of our COO or the culture, but because of you. God bless you always, my friend. :)



...to Hazel who was an instrumental force in my days of despair. I never thought people would care for me without asking anything in return. You have always looked out for me and have always wanted what's best for me. You have been a witness to my struggles and my failures in the matters of the heart and have always reminded me to take it slow---that someone, someday will come. I really do believe you when you say those things and it's true when I say you are like my mother because you have taken good care of me. The random offers of food is enough to make me smile! Thanks for the two Chuckie drinks you recently bought me. You are one of a kind, Hazel! I am honored to even be in your circle of friends.



...to Nannah who has been one of the good constants in my tenure in YEHEY! Each and every day, working becomes so much more bearable when I hear you blurt out something really funny. You have surprised me in more ways than one and I cannot even begin to stress how much I will miss your companionship and your wisdom. You have taught me a lot about myself and have given me compliments to last me a lifetime. For that, I will never be able to repay you but know that I will always be here for you. You are such a wonderful and beautiful person, Nannah. Always remember that.



...and last but not the least, Juli. It only seems yesterday that I saw you going towards Kevin's office for your interview. Now it seems that we've become best friends. Your demeanor instantly broke down my shell and I knew after your interview with me while I was sitting in Greg's seat, I could be comfortable with you. Thank you so much for all the advices, for all the time you spent listening to my dilemma and for trying so hard to keep your promises to me. Your kindness is something that I have never known before. I will always keep praying for you, Juli. I meant it that I do want to be able to see your smile when I go to Heaven. I will never ever forget you. I may forget the things you've said to my but what I've felt in the comfort of your friendship, I will never ever forget.

Dazed and Confused

Dazed and Confused

I am oftentimes consumed by thoughts of someone. I know it shouldn't be the case. Here's what goes through my head when I can't stop thinking about someone I like.

An End To Waking Hours
by Zeus Martinez

Tonight I am left with the afterglow of moonlight
I slowly write the saddest of lines
I take in my longing for you and breathe in
And as the air leaves my lungs I realize
that it is the longest of sighs.c

Tonight I look around and find you nowhere
Intently I strain to hear your voice amidst the eerie hum
Between the intervals of clockticks and silence I wait
But your sweet voice has faded along with the darkness
And I am uncertain if it will ever return.

Tonight I close my eyes and then see yours
My face strikes a familiar smile
One that I recognize during happier days
A smile that replaces the volumes of hurt I now hold
A calming smile only you can ever offer.

Tonight my heart will sleep with an immense void
And there is nothing I can do but surrender
Because I have lost my heart’s desire
And I prepare for the coming hours
Because without you, tonight will be unkind.


This is about a girl whom I courted before. It turns out that I wasn't enough for her. Those weren't her words verbatim however that basically sums up her feelings towards me. As I type this entry, I can't help but smirk and shake my head in vain because that has probably been my lifelong frustration---being turned down because I didn't make the grade. To tell you the truth it is a bit frustrating when you hear woeful tales of a girl whom you like being dumped by their boyfriends just because they got tired of them...just because they saw greener grass. It's the ultimate irony.

As someone who is in a relationship, I can say that I never hold back anything simply because I feel that life is too short. I am what you could call a "doting" partner. (I just got reacquainted with the word so please bear with me :p) Sometimes I think to myself, what's wrong with being a good person. Almost every girl worth being in a relationship in that I've met is always attracted to a person who you can typically call a "bad boy". I'm not bitter. I guess I just want an explanation why the smart, funny, beautiful, malambing, gorgeous, intelligent, eloquent women fall for that.

It's not that I would change into that because I really am not that kind of person. I quit smoking. I'm still in the process of totally taking alcohol out of my system and I'm already looking forward to eliminating profanity in my language. That's the hardest part since it's already been ingrained in the Filipino vocabulary as an everyday expression. As you can see, I am planning to become annoyingly boring. ^_^ I still shake my head after typing this. I know I can't please everybody and I don't really intend to. It's not being apathetic. It's just something that I choose to stand for. One day, I would like people to think of me as someone who stood up for what I think was right and wrong.

No gray areas. At all.

I think I would be happy if I was able to do that, if would come to that point in my life that I didn't have to compromise what I believe in just so that people would accept or even worse, love me.

As I am typing this, I hear a great voice booming over my head and I don't understand what it's saying. Maybe it is the evil that I am trying to avoid or maybe it is my conscience trying to talk some sense into me that this particular lifestyle will not make me any more popular. I just shrug and say, "I wasn't aiming for popularity at all." Some people will understand; most people won't. Life is all about relativity. I don't know if someone will ever come again. Nevertheless, the journey of life goes on. There are no stop signs for me.

Here's to hoping someone will share my definition of a love worth sharing.

The Things We Own End Up Owning Us

The Things We Own End Up Owning Us

After 4 years, 3 months and 21 days I finally got a new (and much better) phone for myself. It's the one I've always wanted ever since I saw it online. I had to sell off about P19k worth of Magic cards but it was worth it.

And get this: it's a colored display phone. ^_^


A portrait of my 6630.

Another attempt at a creative shot

I never really banked on getting myself a new phone this year because this was something that I didn't really have money for. So I sold off some of my precious Magic The Gathering cards and got myself the Nokia unit that I liked. Coming to this decision and actually pushing through with it was such a liberating feeling because for the longest time I felt that my hobby was something that I couldn't let go of. Even though that game might seem trivial, it was a part of me that I really wanted to let go of. When I was walking away from the shop I sold my cards to, I felt a sense of peace that I've honestly never felt before. I was finally able to let go of something material that I had grown attached to and it felt good---even if they were just pieces of cardboards. In the process, I was able to get the phone that I really wanted and that was a big plus for me.

I hope this phone lasts me for as long as it can. It literally is a symbol of my letting go of the hobby that I had for 10 years. But more importantly, it helped me let go of some of the material things in my life. Four or five years from now I honestly want it to still be here with me as a memory of the day I let go of something dear to my heart and gained something more precious in return.

Ranting About Reform in RP

Ranting About Reform in RP

I remember when I was a child, I was asked if I wanted to live in the United States. And it wasn't just a question that was casually thrown at me like a set of spare keys. The thought of leaving my friends was just too much for me to handle. It was something that was decided upon the moment I was asked that question. Of course, I had no capacity for thinking about the future. What was there to think about. The Philippines was a wonderful place to live in during those times. At least in the environment that I lived in. I was brought up in a subdivision where I had a lot of friends and I thought that everything that I would need would be provided by my country.

It only takes a few years of working here to finally understand how flawed that argument was.

I am not ashamed of my stature here but I am deeply concerned about how deplorable our situation is right now. Put a Filipino nurse in let's say, PGH and put another one in the United States or let's say Canada. All else being equal, the one living in the U.S. will surely experience greater financial freedom.

Ceteris paribus, the grass is always greener at the Western side. It is something that we've learned to live with for the past century because our economic state has gradually declined so much you'd think the Philippines was damned.

I'd like to be able to suggest something that would at least take us a step closer to reform. I'd like to but I can't. Because I honestly don't know where to begin. We're [the Philippines] so deep into our hangups that we really can't sit down and focus on one thing because everything else that we would be ignoring needs as much attention.

Whoever has an inkling of how we should go about turning this country around, by all means, shout it out.

It's not "Goodbye". It's "I'll See You Soon"

It's not "Goodbye", It's "I'll See You Soon"


Happy in Tagaytay

Last Sunday, my grandfather passed away. Even though he left me with the feeling of great loss, I know I'll be able to see him again someday. Rest in Peace, Pa.

Cluster Headache

Cluster Headache

Friday night, last week I did my normal routine of going to the gym, eating out and then riding the shuttle back home. But by the time I was home, my head was pounding. It wasn't because of high BP though. This was different. It was as if I could feel my heartbeat through my temples. If I had not worked out that night, I doubt that I could have slept through the pain.

Saturday and Sunday came and the headache still lingered. I did notice something though. Whenever I would try to shake my head (as if saying "No"), the top of my head which is probaby the center of my skull would hurt like hell. It's as if a jackhammer was drilling on it. Aside from that, the only symptom that I could take note of is whenever I would lie down on my side, I could literally feel my heartbeat on my left temple. It's a one-sided kind of throbbing because my right side would not hurt as much. I did some research and I think it's a cluster headache because of the throbbing pain in my left temple.

Today, the pain has become manageable compared to the night before but it still hurts. I just hope that whatever this is, it's not serious at all.

For those of you who read this, I would appreciate it if you included me in your prayers. Hope you have a headache-free week ahead.

On Contentment

On Contentment

It's officially the start of the summer season.

I remember last year, I was unemployed back then. I was probably waking up very late in the morning and turning on the computer every day of April. March 15th of last year I just recently resigned from my work as a call center agent. I didn't really want to work right away because I was too busy enjoying the luxury and privilege of sleeping in the evening and waking up in the morning and not the other way around.

Now, it's summer again. There are days when the weather is so hot that it seems very difficult to breathe and there are so-so days when the slight breeze outside is enough to make the staring sun bearable. I wish I could join the people in the airport on their way to Cebu, Palawan or Boracay but I'm stuck here at work. I'm not complaining though. (something I want to get rid of) I'm happy as it is. I remember the time that I was looking for a job and then this opportunity came.

It is only with a grateful heart that I can say that I was blessed that fateful July when I entered into my second job. It's been tough, of course because I am in the business of sales but with all of the hardships and tough times that I've had in my job, all of the good far outweighs each and every trial.

Summer is officially here. I know it because I can see flocks of kids walking to the basketball court with jerseys on to practice for the summer league. I already feel the missing presence of schoolbuses and uniform-clad children whenever I board a jeepney. I see flyers of dancing classes, acting workshops and basketball camps scattered all around. It is the time for relaxing for the average student; a time for out-of-town trips and what not. But I really don't miss it at all.

I really don't miss it at all because I know that I am content with what I am doing. If I were to look at each and every situation in my life as I do my work now, I would probably be at my happiest right now. Of course, I still yearn to do more than my regular routine of coming in to work and typing away or calling potential clients. I guess I don't mind at all because of the culture that the company adopts. Plus, my co-workers are such good-natured and wonderful people. And because I'm an observer by nature, I learn a lot from them everyday.

Summer is back and I don't mind being indoors, working. It sure beats being indoors reading the classifieds section everyday. We should always be grateful. It would always be better to want what you already have than want the things you don't have. Sometimes, the important lessons in life, we learn on our own. I learned that the secret of contentment was never really a secret at all to begin with.

The Little Prince

The Little Prince



You are the little prince.



Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
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