The Second Time Around

The Second Time Around

It has always been said that adversity brings out the best in us as well as the worst. As for me, I have no doubt been able to prove to myself that it does. But the most important lesson so far is that I have been humbled. And I believe that it is one of the most profound experiences you will have in your lifetime.

People rarely welcome adversity because it is a harbinger of change. It has not been ingrained into our systems to accept such change because it destroys our routine. It challenges our spirits. To the older people of our generation, it means leaving their so-called comfort zones.

Like all people, I have experienced a plethora of emotions ever since childhood. But I am most surprised to come to the realization that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I have cried.

I have rejoiced.

I have been shamed.

As well as honored.

I have been angry and sorrowful.

Passive and aggressive.

Stubborn and wise.

I have been introduced to the different truths in the world and every now and then, because I forget, I once again meet their acquaintance. It is amusing that when someone is introduced to you the second time around, you never seem to forget that moment. And you always remember their name.





I was once introduced to Humility. I met him again…and I will certainly not forget his name ever again.

Rain

Rain

I wish it would rain forever. There seems to be a certain sense of peace whenever it would rain. In my case, it offers a passing moment of security when one could just sit still and listen to the dance of a thousand and one droplets hit the ground.

It helps ease whatever worries that are troubling your mind because you know that at that particular time, something much much bigger is happening. And for one brief moment, amidst the noise around you, your worries seem to fade away in the marriage of water and earth.





I wish it would rain on and on. Then I could take comfort in knowing that given enough time I can drift to a peaceful slumber and forget about everything else.

The Greater Good

The Greater Good

As boring as the cliché sounds I'd have to agree that the truth hurts. Bad.

It's ironic but as adamant as we are in teaching the younger generation of the righteousness of telling the truth, we are also as nonchalant in hiding it. It is a sorrowful thing indeed but we, as adults, have mastered the art of white lies. It seems so trivial to us to just hide the truth from others, to stealthily craft story after story to cover up our after ourselves and the garbage that we leave behind. To the people who can relate, we have already given this another name--"The Greater Good".

But sometimes, you really have to hide the truth. Most of the time, it even becomes a necessity we crave for as much as we do the air we breathe. It is that warm blanket that makes everything alright in the end. A comfort zone of sorts. This is most especially true when in relationships.

I am not about to confess that I am blameless of this demerit. But I am an advocate of finding the truth. I am so because I believe that people lie too much just to feel okay. I believe the distortions of the truth have now been relegated as a way of life and not as a serious grievance on morality. People today lie about where they've been or what they've done or what their job is or what car they drive. But the most common area of fault is where people lie about how they feel.

I sometimes wonder what gives those people the capacity to do such a thing--to lie about their feelings. It's strange because after pondering such a question, you eventually come to a point in your life where you are given the answer.

The feeling is more like a pop-quiz and you're the only one who doesn't know the answer. "Time's up. Pencils down, pass your papers to the front."

And all you've managed to write down is your name and the date.

Today I already understand the so-called wisdom in putting the truth aside. I already seem to grasp the reason for the obfuscation of the real. It is because people need to think of the greater good. And there is such a thing in this world we live in. Believe me, there is. You just need to understand where people are coming from. And most especially, you also need to be thinking about what's best for them. And you'll know it. By golly, you'll damn well know it because it'll hurt like hell.

But you won't even flinch. And you might even smile.

Because the greater good will always be served when they are at their happiest.

The Crumbling of a Dynasty

A single signboard that was being valiantly held up in Game 4 said it all:

LAKERS HAVE SUPERMAN, PISTONS HAVE KRYPTONITE!

And now, after five games, nothing could be farther from the truth.

The dynasty that was once the Los Angeles Lakers has finally crumbled. In the Palace at Auburn Hills, all that was left for the Lakers were the remains of bruised egos, bitter memories and history in the making. Today June 16th, after five grueling games, it has finally been decided that the Detroit Pistons are better than the Los Angeles Lakers. Never mind the post-season bonuses or the championship banners or even history in the making. Now everybody in the NBA knows the Pistons are better than the Lakers. Yes, including Shaq and Kobe.

What the Detroit Pistons unraveled after Game 5 was a secret that mystified the league for the past half decade: "How do you defeat Shaq, Kobe and the Los Angeles Lakers?"

There will be no more discussions on why Shaq is the most dominant player in the league or how good Kobe is in the clutch because after all, players win as a team; they also lose as one. The Lakers forgot that. They faced a Detroit Pistons team that never complained about the calls the referees made, the shooting background of any arena or who should be getting more touches on the ball. The Los Angeles Lakers forgot how to play championship basketball. Heck, they even forgot how to play amateur ball.


"Here we are in the NBA Finals and we're talking about stuff YOU TELL JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL TEAMS: move the basketball, block out, rebound and limit your turnovers, because they're getting more points off our turnovers than anything else," Cleamons said. "It still comes back to fundamentals."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the court. The Detroit Pistons just kept revving up their engines, fighting their way through comments that they were in the Junior Varsity League of the NBA. They played through a triple overtime loss in New Jersey in the semifinals. They defended their way to victory against the Indiana Pacers who had the Best Defensive Player in their roster. They beat every single team in the NBA and they beat them bad. By the way they made NBA basketball history while they were at it too.

To paraphrase:
"Ever since the NBA adopted the 2-3-2 format in the NBA Finals, no home team has ever swept the middle three games."

These Pistons did it after 48 minutes. Today they might go into the history books as one of the most remembered teams in the history of the NBA not because of the similarity they have with the Bad Boys of old or the fact that they helped bring all sports trophies in the Motor City for this year. They will go down as the only opponents strong enough to beat a Los Angeles Lakers team that seemed to don an armor of invincibility. They will be remembered for the way that they played basketball---as a team. Nobody stood out in the series. There was no single superstar in this Detroit team, no million dollar player who would be demanding the ball each and every possession. One could even argue that Ben Wallace is the heart and soul of this team, but it would be to no avail because it would only echo as much as a whisper lost in an arena full of screaming, rabid basketball fans. No one in this Detroit team would care because all the proof that they need, they already have.

Trophy love. How sweet it is, indeed!

The Detroit Pistons have never been my favorite team until the start of the NBA Finals. I never followed them as a basketball team because after all, I, too, fell for the notion that the Eastern Conference was the JV league of the NBA. But no matter how double-faced this article may be, after their win in Game 1 it only became apparent to me that the resolve of this team is iron-clad, that their casually talked-about defense actually makes the other team turn over the ball more. And today, basketball, as a sport, has never meant more to itself because the Pistons did the great James Naismith proud. In front of the whole world, these athletes exemplified how to play basketball. And their success came as no secret.

Defend the paint. Make your shots and just play ball.

Mind-boggling as how everything turned out to be, the spirit of the team was echoed in a simple comment that will be lost in the flood of interviews and championship jubilation:

"You've got to know that you're going to be in a fight for 40 minutes. You've just got to be willing to take some blows and just stand in there and play" -Ben Wallace

Indeed, the Los Angeles Lakers had a self-proclaimed superman on their side. But even Superman had friends. This Lakers team didn’t. The Detroit Pistons showed that anything is possible as long as you have the will to accomplish it. Moreover, they also taught us that it didn’t hurt to rely on each other when the hour of proving comes. The better team won this year. Next year will be no different.

I love this game.

by Zeus A. Martinez

In Memory of Lost Friends

In Memory of Lost Friends

Everytime we enter a new phase of our lives, we inevitably leave the friends we've made. Some of those friends we may still see from time to time while some we never see again.

Some of the ones that we still meet up with are brought about by convenience. They are our classmates, next-door neighbors, teachers and that steadfast circle of friends. They are either the people we cannot help but meet and greet everyday or the ones that we hold on to dear life. Barkadas will be the best example of the latter.

Our circle of friends, the select few who have gained access to our limited time and *ahem* indispensable companionship will always be the ones we talk with, the ones who we shares our interests with, and the ones that will always accept us no matter who we are and what we do.

But even they fade into the background, as all people do.

When we were intelligent enough to be sent to a school, most of us started in kindergarten school with other children. At that time, school seemed more like a blur. Like the first bolt of lightning in the darkening sky. Suddenly it was over and you had to move up to prepatory school. That, too, seemed more like a day in itself. You could only remember bits and pieces of conversation but the memories were definitely there. Then came gradeschool.

The hours were longer.

At that time you learned about oppurtunity costs without even being introduced to the idea. Yes, there were shows that you were going to miss...but the comfort of late-afternoon cartoons and eager playmates were there to welcome you home. All you knew was that you had to keep going. After all, "staying in school is the right thing to do" is what they said. Then your first graduation happened.

The next thing you know, you felt a sense of seniority in the campus. You came to school knowing that you were going to have a great time because there were a lot of new things that you were still getting used to. Suddenly "Math" was called Algebra, and "Science" was broken down into Biology and Chemistry. And you distinctly remember prom night. Whether it was one the finest days of your high school life or not, you couldn't forget that night.

Then came college. New subjects, new set of friends. Heck, you even got a new nickname. But as soon as you're ready to reflect on your life in a university, strange as it seems, that life is over. You try to make something out of the four years you've spent with your dearest friends and when looking back you say to yourself: "It's over?"

We leave a lot of memories behind whenever we move on to the next phase of our lives. And along with those memories, people are always forgotten or buried in that casket we call The Past. How many friends have you met and lost touch with during your stay here on this globe? How many more will be lost in the sea of your intertwining connections?

They are but mere raindrops lost in an ocean of people. Waiting to be found again.

It's late and I can't sleep again. Ah what the heck, let's just get on that bandwagon and stay on it for a while...

FALLEN
bySarah McLachlan

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

I think the song best describes what I'm feeling at the moment. It seems that I've failed too many times and lost so much. I need to escape.

It's been a while since I last posted something. Guess I've been thinking again.

Being apart and lonely is like rain.
It climbs toward evening from the ocean plains;
from flat places, rolling and remote, it climbs
to heaven, which is its old abode.
And only when leaving heaven drops upon the city.

excerpt from "Loneliness" by Rainer Maria Rilke

Did you ever wonder what happened to that one good friend you had 10 years ago? He or she was probably a bestfriend but back then, all you knew was that the two of you had a special connection. One in which you could rely on. One day, you're basking in the comfort and security of your friendship and then you find yourself looking back at those times, wondering, where have they all gone?

Friendships seem so fragile nowadays. And I still can't understand why.

Are we going to go throughout our own lives meeting people only to forget how much they matter to us? It seems like the world today doesn't have much respect for the things that are really important. After all, we're all keeping ourselves busy with our hobbies, the most recent box-office hit, the latest fashion trends, our significant other and whatnot. Sometimes we do forget how to connect with the people who have touched our lives. And I don't blame these people. After all, I myself, am guilty of these things. I don't seek to condemn or criticize people who forget people. I just think there's something terribly wrong with it.

There's nothing like the love for the game. I played 5 straight hours of basketball. Yes, you read it right. Five long hours of bumps, sweat and guts! (of course, it was all in good fun) Anj, A.J. and I started at around 6 PM and we finished at around 11:00 in the evening! It felt good to play that long just to take out all of the calories and fat that's been clinging on to my *ahem* abdomen. :) Man, that felt good!

There's no substitute for therapy than a good game. (which Anj and I incidentally won!) Can't wait to stretch these muscles again. Muscles? What muscles? :) Anyway, exercise has been very therapeutic for me indeed. In my opinion, more helpful than blogging although I won't object to that fact. :)

Come endorphins! Come to me!!!

For the first time in weeks, I've managed to sleep earlier than 3:00 AM.

It's so hard to get a good night's rest without the help of fatigue that comes from the office or even from moderate exercise. These past weeks have been such a blur to me I don't know where they went. Normally, I'd sleep at around 3-5 AM and I'd wake up at around 9:00 AM. It's very strange because I wouldn't be that tired in the morning but come afternoon, I tend to nap a few hours or so. Talk about sleep disorder.

But now, I've managed to sleep at 12:30 AM. Yes, for me that is already quite a feat. And to top it off, I slept until noon a few hours earlier. I should be up until the wee hours of the morning but I wasn't. I was actually...sleepy! It's difficult to understand how and why my body clock adjusted itself but I'm just glad I was able to sleep well last night. :) Ahhh yes, I can watch the NBA Playoffs without having to doze off during commercials. What bliss. Let's go Detroit!





Always look on the bright side of life...

Noypi
by Bamboo of Rivermaya

Tingnan mo ang iyong palad
Kalyado mong kamay
Sa hirap ng buhay
Sa dami mong problema
Nakuha mo pang ngumiti
Noypi ka nga. Astig!

Saan ka man naroroon, wag kang matatakot sa baril o patalim
Sa bakas na madilim

Hoy pinoy ako
Buo aking loob, may agimat ang dugo ko

Sinisid ko ang dagat
Nilibot ko ang mundo
Nasa puso ko pala and hinahanap kong kulo
Ilang beses nakong muntikang mamatay
Alam ko ang sekreto kaya't nandito pa't buhay

Sabi nila may anting-anting ako
pero di nila alam na Diyos and dahilan ko

Hoy pinoy ako
Buo aking loob, may agimat ang dugo ko

Dinig mo ba ang bulong ng lahi mo
Isigaw mo kapatid ang himig natin







I am proud to be a Filipino.

No matter how ironic or hypocritical this post may be, (being written in English) I still stand by what I said. I am proud to be a Filipino. I think there are a considerable number of pinoys out there who wouldn't be able to say the same. Why would they? The country is one of the most corrupt in Southeast Asia, the peso has fallen to an all-time low, life is hard and essentially, the Philippines has never seen a worse time that what we're experiencing right now. We rarely trust people anymore and that's because we're always being lied to and robbed by our own countrymen be it the President or just a lowly desperate man who needs to feed his family for the week. ¤sigh¤

Yes, I concede that there's nothing much to be proud of such acts. One could reason that other countries do much much worse. One could argue that the crime and corruption that happens in our neighboring countries far surpasses that which we experience here in our Motherland. But we are not them, and they, not us. That is what we should we remember.

We could be much better that who we are now. We could learn how to follow rules and respect authority. And those authorities could also not take advantage of people in any manner. We could help people rise above their troubles and fears just a little bit by acknowledging that he is also fighting his own war against poverty, despair and self-pity...and that he is also our brother.

We could be more than who we are now. The question is, will we choose to be that kind of person?

¤sigh¤ I need a new phone.

My ever-reliable 6210 is practically at the end of its rope. Poor phone. At least that gives me a reason to start hurrying up to look for my next job. I'm planning on getting the white 3100 because it's just so clean to look at.

Copyright © 2004 Nokia. Nokia, Nokia Connecting People, Xpress-on, and all Nokia phone models are trademarks or registered trademarks of Nokia corporation. All rights reserved. (Yes, this copyright notice is still, for all intents and purposes, necessary.)

I got my 6210 way back in 2000. Back then I couldn't ask for a better phone but even copper and plastic have a shelf life. So my Cybersilver is quite the survivor right now. I don't know when it'll be replaced...but I'm cool with my current cell right now. So we'll just wait and see.

Damn, I'm sleepy.

I played ball for 4 hours and right now my head is hurting like hell. It's damn hard to concentrate if you've got a major headache. The thing is, I checked my BP and it was 103/59. Pretty normal for me. I was taken aback by my PR: 85 bpm! I think that's the highest I got ever since I started checking my pulse rate. Wince.

I should have eaten more than a banana for dinner. Not to mention slept four more hours. But the third game in the Lakers T'Wolves series wasn't just something I'd want to miss. (Lakers won, by the way 2-1)

Oh well. I'm guessing this is due to fatigue and sleep deprivation. Hope I get well soon.





Ow. Pain.

I think I think too much.

There I go. I did it again.

I don't know if I'm alone in whatever I'm feeling as of the moment but I think I'm one of the few people who's thinking right now about who they really are in this world. I feel like a lost puppy dog looking for his home. I sometimes question what my purpose is. It's a hard question and I'd like to say that I have considered several answers people would give me...but somehow I believe I still have to find it on my own.

It's already 4 AM and I'm still wide awake.

Perhaps it's all of the subconscious thoughts that have been silently murmuring to me like a conscience bearing down on your spirit. I don't know if they will ever go away although I am hoping that I find myself. I hope I find myself and whatever I'm looking for soon.

I finally deleted my previous posts. I guess I wanted a fresh new start. After I read them, it didn't sound like me. It was like reading the words of someone else because they seemed...happy. "Lively" to say the least. I think I've changed.

Right now, there's a lot going on my mind. It's probably because of the idle time I have due to not having a job anymore but I readily welcome these times. After all, one doesn't often have the liberty of a summer vacation once they become part of the 'working force' do they? A couple of months ago I resigned from THE top call center (*wink*) in the Philippines and to tell you the truth, I didn't really like the job. But whatever bad experiences I encountered with my customers, the people I worked with more than made up for the hard, cold, thankless nights I've spent assisting people. Damn, I miss those guys! That was my first job but it felt like the last one I'll ever have which will have people as wonderful and as cool as them. *sigh*

Maybe that's the reason why I still "can't find" a job.

Maybe not.

Right now, I'm just taking it one step...one day at a time. Miss them friends!