The Splendor of the Sun

The Splendor of the Sun


Sunrise at Pamilacan Island

Just to update you people who have been frequenting my blog (or those who know about it), I've been dabbling with photography for quite some time now and I would like to just share my passion with all of you.

I've been able to capture the most beautiful sites of our country and I am hungry for more opportunities to be able to share to my circle of influence that there are things in this earth that still defy description--and those are ones which come from God. How can you say there is no God when you are bathed in a living canvas such as the one above? He is indeed the ultimate artist.

A Hike with Jesus

A Hike with Jesus

Dear Jesus,

Why is it that the more you reveal Yourself to me, the more I can't understand You? I try with all my might to comprehend Your reasons for loving a bonafide sinner like me. I feel that I've failed miserably this week because I don't think I did much to make you smile. I didn't share the gospel, I skipped my quiet times, I would run to you for forgiveness only to trip for the nth time. I imagined you were shaking Your head at me but when You spoke to me yesterday, through a song that was never the case, was it? I heard You speak in my heart of hearts that You loved me no matter what. And You told me that I didn't have to fix my act up for You to come and stretch out Your hand.

You carried me this past week because You knew I couldn't take anymore the pain that I was harboring in my heart. You knew I didn't have a chance and You took it upon Yourself to right me up; and You carried me. I imagine that the road that we went through was rocky and the sharp and jagged pebbles never touched the soles of my feet. All because You said, You'd take me through this road----this trying time in my life. And as I regained consciousness, I would look back and behind us there was a trail of blood and I could see Your feet being pierced by the sharp and jagged rocks. And when I lifted my eyes to meet Yours, You simply smiled and said to me, "We're almost there." And at that time, I knew and felt Your love embrace the depths of my soul. "Stay with me, we're almost there," You said ever so gently.

As I write this letter, I shed tears of shame and at the same time, joy. I am ashamed that I couldn't go on the journey; I am ashamed because I couldn't walk with You the whole time. Most of all, I am ashamed because You had to carry me---that You had to bleed for someone who's failed You so many times. But You said that You'd do it over and over again, if that's what it takes for me to be with You.

I remember You saying, "We're here." I remember already standing and as I opened my eyes, I only saw You. I noticed that Your robe was all dirty while mine was as clean as the hour we started walking. Your tired, weary face still wearing a smile that was there from the very start. And as my vision improved, I saw that You carried me to a gentle and placid stream surrounded by sweet smelling flowers.. This was nothing like the road that we started on. And it was then that I understood Your heart. It was then that I saw Your heart for what it really was---a heart that is overflowing with Love for me.

As I was marveling at the sights I was beholding, You then gently lay Your hand upon my shoulder said, "Take your time. I'll be here. I won't leave you."
I don't know what to say, Jesus. That was one of the best journeys that You've led me to. It was difficult and I couldn't go on yet You stayed with me throughout the hike. Your smile while you carrying me, Your love that encompasses all human understanding, Your passion for me---those are the things I cannot understand about You. Yet those are the very same things that make me want to love You back.

Frankly, I'm glad that I went on that trip that You invited me to go to. We should do it again. You said You'd do it again but I hope I make it all the way next time.

Love,
Zeus

A Valentine's Note

A Valentine's Note

A year ago, for the first time in 4 years, I celebrated Valentine's Day as a single guy. I remember celebrating it without any frills. That day went by like a breeze--only colder. This time, I celebrate Valentine's Day with much hope. I see today as another Valentine's that I am without "her". But I rest in the hope of Psalm 27:14 as I "Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Truly, God makes everything (and might I add everyone) beautiful in its own time. For now, this shall have to do.


Dearest,

I celebrate Valentine's without you beside me again. But I know there will come a time when you will be reading this and many other letters that I've written to you. I know that there will come a time when I will be gazing into your eyes and recognize the person whom I wrote all of my letters to. Just thinking about it now brings a smile to my face. Last year, I was worried about not ever finding you. But ever since I came to know who God is, He helped me and comforted me during those long nights when I still didn't know you. God changed me. And as I write this, He is making me into a better person . I'd like to think that the reason why I haven't met you is because God hasn't allowed it. But in truth, I know that God is preparing me to take care of you the rest of my life. It was probably a long wait but if you're reading this now then we both know that God's timing is perfect. This is only the beginning of my walk with God. And I know that when that magnificent day comes, as He passes amidst the crowd, holding my hand...He'll know exactly where you are and when we'll get to you. And I know that He'll find you and by the time we're both walking right with Him. He'll make us hold each other's hands--in His perfect time. Happy Valentine's.

Love,
Zeus

Love Never Fails

Love Never Fails

It's around 3 A.M. in the morning and the only lights that are open are the incandescent ones that bathe my topsy-turvy room. I can't sleep because just moments ago, as I was replying to a text message that was sent to me a few hours earlier, I experienced God. I remember the saying that went something like, God is in the details." That person knew what he was talking about. God was there. And I realized that God's love never fails. Ever.

A friend texted me 1 Corinthians 3:18 which reads, "Love never fails." I've heard it before and it was one of those truths that I only knew theoretically yet I never really stopped to consider if it was indeed true. I used to look at love as that warm, fuzzy feeling that came over you whenever you would be graced with the presence of someone special. My definition of love before was caged inside the bars of romantic thoughts and gestures. I never really stopped to think about what Paul really meant when he said to the Corinthians, "Love never fails."

As beings who know how powerful a force love is, we have been, at one point of our lives, caught in the whirlwind of emotions that make up "love". For those who have been already in romantic relationships (or even forms of it), we have seen, heard, felt and even experienced how it is to be loved by another. And the joy is simply indescribable. Recall any time when you and your special someone shared a significant moment, a time wherein both of you professed your undying adoration and affection to one another. Recall the birthday that became strangely "more special" than all of your other previous birthdays just because you had "someone special" with you that day. Recall those times and tell me if they were not intoxicating. For those who have yet to feel the intimacy and joy that a relationship can bring, it spurs them on. The thought of being romanced by someone becomes a constant in their lives. Like the slow ticking of a clock in one's room, it is always there, muffled by the noise of deadlines, soap operas and chores. But once you clear away everything. Once a quiet moment slips through our busy lives, that quiet ticking that we once did not hear is magnified a thousand times over.

We wonder with all honesty if someone will ever love us as we are. If there is someone who will actually see all of our imperfections and yet embrace us with all of their heart. We occasionally indulge ourselves with hopeful fantasies and daydreams that that day will soon come. We all think to ourselves that our waiting will stop and our "happily ever after" will soon arrive. For some of us, we know it but there are times that we long for that kind of love now. And for those unfortunate ones who have been scarred by the wounds of love, they know that whenever you court love, you also invite pain.

I now realize that as inhabitants of an imperfect world, we have become frequent witnesses to the failure of earthly love. Too often have we been subject to news that feature breakups and divorces rather than golden anniversaries. And as people of a fallen world, we have all assimilated to this kind of behavior. At times we even celebrate this type of disunity as it is covered by the media without abandon. We have become so callous to the absurdity that this type of love offers that we forget that "Love never fails." Caught between embellishments of the media and the constant put-downs from people who have failed in relationships, that one important truth is muffled in our current society. We have become used to love failing us.

The love around us fails simply because as fallen citizens of Heaven we wield it as inappropriately as a child would wield a sword. We forget that when we love, we can offer strength yet it can also destroy people when it is coupled with jealousy. We focus on the captivating part of love yet we so willingly discard the hard work that needs to be put into it when an argument needs to be settled. Experience tells us that with all honesty, love fails.

We all forget that the reason why love fails is because like an overexcited child who has just received something intricately special, we never really stopped to ask about how to use it in the first place.

As I pondered on the verse "Love never fails." I could not help but wholeheartedly agree. With tears in my eyes, the first time I realized how true it was moments ago I nodded in agreement as I recall the one and only person who made the verse come alive. When I read this verse, I remember Jesus Christ.

Here you have the Lord of the Universe realizing that I have no chance in Heaven that I'll be able to pay for all of my sins and He goes down to earth to feel my pain, to be one with my discouragement, to witness the betrayal that I've felt, to drink from the bitter cup of heartbreak that I once called mine. Jesus endured everything that I could ever endure just so I could one day feel Eden under my feet. He could have given up the first time that whip tore against His flesh. He could have let go of my hand the moment he felt the nail being centered in His palm. Yet He endured everything even up to the point of death. And he never failed. Not once did His love fail me. He waited for me for how many years until I would come back to His open arms. And now, in the early morning He reminds me, "See how much I love you." And then I hear the Father's voice that softly says.

"I did it for you."

It is true that love never fails. Jesus' love never fails. If left in our hands, we imperfectly hold a perfect gift but in Jesus' hands, love never fails. And it never will.

To my Eternal Lover in Heaven, I love you so much! I always will.

Inexhaustible Joy

Inexhaustible Joy

I just had another realization. I realized that I'm not yet ready for a relationship yet. Not in the near future. I know this because something happens when I become involved in a relationship. The last time I had a girlfriend, she became my god. I realized that when I am in a relationship, I cannot help but put her on a pedestal.

I ran a search in the Internet for that particular idiom and I came up with this:

Idiom: put someone on a pedestal (place someone on a pedestal)
Meaning: To admire or revere them extremely; to idolize them.

So there. The last time I was in a relationship, I tried so hard to give her my time, energy and effort that I never had room for anybody else in my life. Most especially God. This time, I'd want it the other way around. I mean, to some people it just doesn't make any sense but I readily surrender that part of me to my Lord. This time, I'd want to have a relationship with Him so much that I'll forget that I ever wanted to find a partner in this makeshift Eden we call life. I spent the better part of my life trying to find "Ms. Right" but I've only managed to scar and traumatize myself in the process. And when I decided to finally seek God with all my heart, He readily welcomed me with open arms, covering me with a love that can only be as high as the heavens.

Whatever God's plan is for me, I can only say that it is for the best and that he wants to bless me so much. Jeremiah 29:11 by itself can attest to that. For now, all I want to concentrate on is God. I will be waiting for His leading and His promise.

I would like to share something that I recently read.

"We should, to begin with, think that God leads a very interesting life, and that he is full of joy. Undoubtedly he is the most joyous being in the universe. The abundance of his love and generosity is inseperable from his infinite joy. All of the good and beautiful things from which we occasionally drink tiny droplets of soul-exhilarating joy, God continuously experiences in all their breadth and depth...We are enraptured by a well-done movie sequence or by a few bars from an opera or lines from a poem. We treasure our great experiences for a lifetime, and we may have very few of them. But he is simply one great inexhaustible and eternal experience of all that is good and true and beautiful and right." (The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life with God)

If God wants me to forgo having an earthly relationship so that I can even get a glimpse of His inexhaustible and eternal joy, then let's get this show on the road.

Lord, I am Yours all of my days.

A Question for the Ages

A Question for the Ages

Our generation has abandoned the idea of solitude and it has done so either
willingly or absent-mindedly. And along with its expiration, more is lost between the lines. The mind of modern man has subscribed to the idea that greater activity is tantamount to an equal amount of productivity. Sadly, this connotation has never been farther from the truth.

We currently live in a world that is chockfull of distractions. Left and right, we seemingly run into the latest fad that is sweeping Metro Manila by storm or we anticipate the forthcoming week because a good movie that stars the man or woman of our dreams will be coming out. As a species, man can never be content with what he has. And I wonder if it is simply because we long for a life that we know should exist in; that we long for a life that in our heart of hearts look for but can never attain in this physical and fallen existence. And as if being trapped in an upright crucible, we are all going down--faster than we know. We are all bound to slip into that state of physical slumber when our bodies will no longer feel the warmth it once felt nor will our eyes ever see the light of day. You incessantly toil and labor for the upcoming promotion or the next big job opportunity.

What then?

You work your way to become the top professional in your company and command the respect of all of your peers as well as your superiors. All of the people in your company would be gravely out of line if he or she did not know your name as you now have skyrocketed to unprecedented fame and status.

What then?

You find your mate and end up having the marriage that you've always dreamed of---maybe even more. You make a family and lavishly shower them with gifts and love as you provide for their daily needs. If you're fortunate enough, the word 'dysfunctional' will never be used in the same sentence with your family.

What then?

You will grow old and retire real early to enjoy an age of abundance that will see you living off your businesses' profits. You'd never have to worry about not having enough money because you've become such a success at what you do. You live like this for the remainder of your life until you encounter that last gasp. You pass away, shift states, throw in the towel, shuffle off from existence. You die.

What then? Seriously. What then?

Have you ever thought of where you were going after you're through with this makeshift Eden? And you think to yourself, maybe there is no life after death. "Maybe you just stop existing", you whisper in quiet thought.

Haven't you ever wished that time would stop at a particular moment just for the reason that you said to yourself, "This is the life."?

If you've ever been to the island of Boracay and if you've ever set foot on its trademark white sand, you'll probably know the feeling that I'm describing. If you've ever set foot on the apex of a mountatin top and stood high amongst the clouds and the lush greens all around you, you probably know the feeling. If you've ever felt loved by a close friend so unconditionally and knew that even if you blew it, nothing would ever change, you'd probably understand the rush that I'm talking about. Basking in the sun, marveling and looking down upon creation, feeling the sincere love of another friend, you say to yourself: "This is the life."

Have you ever asked how you got to that conclusion? Have you ever sincerely asked yourself, why you were able to say those words?

Our souls long for something more than the everyday clutter that we see on our office desks. Our souls are not meant to stare at a computer day in and day out for the rest of our lives. The human soul longs for that paradise that it has lost. It longs to be in that grandiose Eden and say, "This is the life." The whispers of this world reverberate when we are still, when we are quiet enough to listen to it. When we rest on that pristine beach, when we gaze upon the sunset sky and all its colors, when we rest in the safe arms of love---this is when we know something is right. It is when we know that there is a life out there that we used to know because we know in our heart of hearts what life should be.

Do you know what will happen to you at the end of your life? Do you know where you will go? Honestly now. There is a road that leads to the life that we know we're supposed to experience.I know of only One way. One truth to this ineffable question. One life which we are all invited to participate in.

Ask yourself. Do you really know where you are going?

Photoshop, I like.

Photoshop, I like

I've recently discovered that I just love Adobe Photoshop. It's just an awesome, awesome program and you could literally have me sit for a day just experimenting on the several effects that you can achieve with the program. I just love (geek alert) switching saturations and experimenting with the hues and different blending modes that are at my disposal. During the course of my experience with Photoshop, I've only learned a fraction of the program but knowing the simple fundamentals of selection and saturation has taken me a long way. I just have one problem. I sometimes can't replicate a certain effect that I did, especially if it entailed me just sitting and playing around with levels and curves. Add plugins to the equation and I'm already lost. :|

I think I just need to take down notes. Oh well. *opens Photoshop*

On Obedience

On Obedience


"And without faith it is impossible to please God,
because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists
and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)

Obedience never comes easy. And at times, it is accompanied by an immense pain because more often than not, we let go of something before we let God. As painful as it is, when we DO obey, God rewards us for that. There are times that we do not absolutely comprehend what could come out of something so painful but I have been so blessed to have met new friends over the course of the past month.

I had a dilemma a few months back because I was troubled because I was attracted to someone and I couldn't think about anything or anyone else other than her. It became such a distraction for me that I went through so much pain and I cried a lot of tears just asking God if He could will it for me to pursue her. But God declined. It was so clear to me that it was not yet time for me to handle such things. And at one timely evening, I cried out to God, finally bringing "her" to the altar. That night, I totally surrendered her to God. And it hurt because it meant that if God wills that we never be together, then I have to surrender to that fact.

More than anything, God is faithful. He quickly turned my mourning in dancing and He gave me new friends to help me realize that if he asks you to lay down something, it is because He wants to bless you in ways you can only imagine. We just have to trust in His sovereign plan. Because I chose Him, He blessed me with the people you now see below. I have been blessed to have known you all and am excited to get to know each and every one of you more.




Whoever said God doesn't reward obedience? These people who I now call friends are more than rewards. They are literally blessings and tangible reminders to our souls that God is real and that He forever blesses those who seek and obey Him. It may come in some other form or another but ultimately, God will always be there to bless you beyond your imagination if we simply let Him.

When We've Missed a Step or Two

When We've Missed a Step or Two


"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart,
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."


Reading the quote above just made me simply shake my head as if to say, "How true". And the most recent events in my life are a testament to how good and faithful God is, even when we don't deserve it.

A few months back, there was a falling between my bestfriend and myself. It was not because of any misunderstanding or because he found new friends to hang out with. It was because he entered into a relationship. *awww* Hence, the regular meetings were then replaced with the normal text messages that spoke of dinner outs with the girl's family and the typical monthsary celebrations he had planned for them. Although I did understand his situation, that never changed how sad I was to "lose a friend" to a relationship. And it really is true when you do focus yourself on a romantic relationship, the rest of your life will have to take a back seat. After all, this is your potential spouse you're talking about. So anyway, I was there befuddled about what to do and wondering if I could still find such a good friend.

Guess what? You know Psalm 37:4? It really is true. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." At that time, I couldn't foresee any of His plans to bless me with such good and sincere friends. All I wanted to do was to serve Him through my different ministries and now He has given me godly people to surround me with. They're not perfect, but they're a work in progress and that's what I love about them. :) You see through their lives and their stories that God is constantly working in their lives to mold them for His glory. One of my music ministry friends talked about having a burden to reach out through mission trips to share the gospel to other people while another speaks about God's faithfulness and love each and every time of prayer.

And just now, I've had the privilege of meeting several new people who have been such great blessings in my life. There's this one particular person who I have had the joy of getting to know. And when I think of how good she has been to me, even if I absolutely don't deserve it, I just can't help but remember how gracious our God is. I am speechless and I just can't think of words of how and why God has blessed me with such an awesome and sincere friend. To be given an opportunity to get to know someone who is as wonderful as her is certainly one of the primal joys that one can ever experience. I, for one, have reached that point that all I could do was smile and thank God in my heart for His wonderful blessings. I honestly had no other words for that one moment when both of us were talking in YM---just the gratefulness in my heart and the absolute joy that came with it. I couldn't help but say to her, "believe me you are more than what you think you are. as in blessing ka sobra. when I remember you, I remember how good God is."

"So blessed, I can't contain it. So much I gotta give it away."

The quotation at the beginning of this entry is so true for me. Yet I am compelled to write my own version of it. Call it cheesy, but it comes from the heart.

"A friend is someone who knows how to dance to the beat of your heart, and can keep you in rhythm when you've missed a step or two."

There are times that we sometimes forget that our lives are supposed to be glorious and abundant. (John 10:10) There will be times when we fall down our saddles and it may seem that it would be such a daunting task to get up and try again. Friends come in and out of our lives as easily as the seasons change but there are those people--those anointed souls--who simply just light up our lives like anything we've ever imagined. Because of their innate goodness and outspoken beauty, the truth of a good and faithful God is all the more revealed. Romans 1:20 becomes all the more real when I meet friends like her. When you realize the people around you are blessings, you will be without excuse and in my case, I can only come to God in all humility and gratefulness.

You know who you are. Thank you for reminding me of what a good God we have. :)

An Epiphany about Women

An Epiphany about Women

I just realized something. And I just want to be able to share it because it came during my long prayer time around 1:00 AM in the morning.

I came to discover the beauty that women inherently contain. I realized that when I see "her", it's as if I could stop and gaze upon her for a very long time. I was talking to God when I came to the topic of my God's Best. I confessed to Him that whenever I see her in all her beauty, I simply cannot help but want to see her. I could look at her face a thousand times over and not be the least bit dulled for she is beautiful. She is, in a word, captivating.

And I realize that this is true for all women. Whether you are more like this and less like that, whatever you may be, there will always be a guy who will always find you beautiful. And for her, I am that guy. I shake my head when she smiles at me or whenever she looks my way. I try to hide my joy and contentment in being near her between laughter and comfortable smiles--or sometimes, uncomfortable silences. Whatever it is, I find myself either dancing inside or shaking my head while saying to myself, "Grabe, why did she have to be so beautiful?" And this is not just physical beauty that I am talking about. No siree! It is a given that she is physically beautiful but whatever grace she has, however enchanting everything about her may be, she is still even more inside. How do I know that? I guess I just do.

So here I was, praying to God and asking Him for His will when I realized that I should be grateful for God that He made Adam strong and Eve captivating. I thank God that he made us differently. I realized that the beauty that we behold in women today are only glimpses of the beauty of Almight God. I pictured myself standing amidst the multitide while in His throneroom. I see myself hiding behind the marble pillar that is in the room--trying to get a glimpse of the splendor and beauty of of a beautiful and enchanting God. In the same way that I cannot help but become drawn to her when I am in her presence, I can only surmise that it will happen to me again with God in Heaven.

And when the Lord of the Universe calls me to His presence, it will be more than butterflies in my stomach (assuming I still have one when that happens) but it will be a rejoicing of my soul. What a wonderful day that will be.

It Isn't Much, But It's From the Heart

It Isn't Much, But It's From the Heart

I used to be so troubled by thoughts of the unknown. I used to be so caught up in the idea that a relationship is all that matters in this world. Yet God has taught me to fully rely on Him. Whatever the outcome is, I know I can rest my heart on His. No matter how wounded or scarred my soul is, it will always find comfort in Him. The reason why I say this is not to highlight the negative possibilities that may happen in the future but to emphasize that no matter how disappointing human relationships will be, we will always have a perfect God who will always perfectly love us in the way we want to be loved.

And since we're on the topic of relationships, I might as well share what I managed to write in an hour. I can only say that I stand in awe in the wonder of God's most beautiful creation--and that is woman. The proverbial Eve of every man. For every woman, you will always have someone who will find you captivating and enthralling. And it is my desire for my lady friends that you find someone who will confess to you the beauty that you do not know you hold. It is my desire that you find your God's Best and that he finds you as well. Wait on the Lord because His timing is perfect.

An Ode to Eve
by Zeus Martinez

Past your gleaming eyes and limpid stare
Past the silky strands of your flowing hair
I find your beauty in quiet wait
A beauty, flawless in every way
Beauty that grows day by day

Neither the rustling of leaves of spring
Nor the thunderclouds that loudly ring
Might take it from your hands
Your beauty wrapped in grace divine
I find radiant, complete, sublime

Smile no more lest my soul rejoice
And it longs to hear your soft calm voice
Beloved, hear my honest plea
I dare not see us grow apart
For you are the hiccup of my heart

I see your face in songs and poems
And find your smile in morning blossoms
I sail the seas with you in mind
And as I peer into the blue
My thoughts are filled with only you

Past the imperfections you always see
Past your great melancholy
I see a beauty I wish to know
One I’ve searched for, one that’s true
One that I have found in you

Knowing You More and More

Knowing You More and More

I learned another thing about God yesterday. I learned that the things we are able to accomplish are only because of God's infinite Grace and mercy. The minute we give credit to ourselves, whether it's on purpose or not, we risk God agreeing with us. In order to save space, I scripted the gist of what happened to me in the following psuedo-dialogue between myself and God:

Me: "How wonderful I have been for you, Lord. I have done this FOR you. This is my offering to you."

God: "Really now? Do you have any idea about how much I have helped you accomplish that? Do you have any idea that it is not you, but Myself working in you? Why do you then give credit where it is not due?"

Me: "I'm just so happy that I'VE been able to shed my old self."

God: "Since you put it that way, let's see YOU pull it off without my grace."

Me: "Okay :)"

This is the part where people in the audience say, "Yari ka." =))


Then I stumble with my walk with God. (malamang!)

*slowly walks back to God with my heart humbled*

Me: "Joke lang. Hindi ko pala kaya. I'm really sorry, Lord."

*sigh* It's hard to be humbled especially if God does that to you. He reminds you of your fallen nature and how insignificant you are WITHOUT Him. If you've never tried to come up to Him with a humble heart, I suggest that you do. If there's anything that you can do after you've sinned and you sincerely want to confess it to God, I suggest Psalm 51.

Only by His Grace

Only by His Grace

God is indeed in the business of changing lives. I stifle a wry smile when I think about my state 365 days ago. I sincerely never knew that I would have met so many new people in such a short time. I never knew that I would be actively involved in the different ministries in church. Ever. Here I was a lonely, lost and depressed soul looking for something that would matter in his life.

I always get a kick out of reminiscing the past year because who I was a year ago and who I am now are two totally different people. And I don't mean to sound cliché-ish but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself being part of the photo and video ministry of my church, CCF.

A year ago, not once have I attended our anniversary in Araneta Coliseum but this year, not only did I have the joy of worshiping at Araneta but I also had the privilege of documenting the event. Never did I imagine that I would get to sing and act for Jzone. (yes, I am now part of the prompters in Jzone) And yes I recently acted for a teaser video that was patterned after the CSI tv series.

I've also done several projects such as marketing collaterals for the different ministries and I've also helped out with some editing of the different videos for the upcoming retreats this sembreak. It is such a rewarding experience because not only do I get to improve and hone my skills (I meant Photoshop skills) but I also get to serve God through the different ministries I'm part of.

If you came up to me exactly a year ago and told me that I was going to do all of the things above, I'd probably scoff at you and say straight to your face that you've probably got the wrong man. I was so focused on getting by with the little precarious moments of levity that I would get from a good conversation or a simple compliment. Anything that made me feel high was my source of fuel. Anything that came close to euphoria, I held onto for dear life. When I think about it, it never really gave me the sense of security that I was looking for. Holding on to the things I thought were significant never gave me the happiness that I was looking for.

Everything that I thought to be important turned out to be an illusion.

That is, until I got reacquainted with Jesus Christ. And after that, my life was never the same again. I can tell you of things you already knew since your grade school days. I could tell you of the man whose great love for you led Him to the path of calvary and eventually to His demise so that all our sins could be forgiven: past, present and future. Yes, even the ones you're planning make. He already forgave you of that. I could get down and theoretical and give you several reasons why the Bible is more accurate and reliable than the historical manuscripts of Plato. I could do all of those things but I won't because every single one of those justifications, every single one of those valid truths pale in comparison to the changed life that I now hold in Jesus Christ.

Like the blind man who was healed by Jesus, I can only say something similar: "I was once hopeless but have now found Hope. I was once unhappy but have now found the only source of Joy. I was once helpless and weak yet now I am supplied with all the Strength I'll ever need."

I didn't find it through religion, I didn't find it through being spriritual. I found everything that changed my life in Jesus. All praise, glory and honor to my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ for His mercies and blessings!

Fab Friday

Fab Friday

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose." It was yesterday that I witnessed this verse manifest in my life.

I woke up with such a heavy heart. I knew I was not focusing on God as much as I needed and wanted to. The past few days spoke of doubt and "what ifs". It seemed that this week, God wasn't my center. But I wanted Him to be. Recently, I have been experiencing some pressing matters of the heart. I woke up and I just felt incomplete. After I cried in prayer and surrendered all of my cares to Him, a certain sense of peace overcame me. It wasn't a fabricated kind of peace rather it was so genuine that it was inexplicable. I always loved when Philippians 4:7 would come alive in my life because I trusted in Jesus. It says, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Nothing can be farther from the truth.

And then when I was on my way to CCF, one of my Jzone dgroup member texted me saying that he could not see the point of living. There was so much despair and desolation in that one body of message that I couldn't help but be anxious and scared for him. After texting his discipler and my other dgroup mate, I just prayed for him. I saw him in Soulstop and he really looked like he came from a crisis. The message came and several hours passed. When we ended the discussion, he was so joyful and blessed that all of his questions were answered by God during the span of 5 hours. Amazing! When we cry out to God when we're at the end of the rope, there is nothing that He will not do to reveal Himself and His goodness to us. Praise God! (I also brought a first-timer friend and was able to share the gospel to another first-timer. Woohoo! \:D/)



After Soulstop, my friends and I went to Somethin' Fishy in Libis to eat. (yes naman, gimik! ^_^) It was a nice ending for the week to just fellowship with good friends. I also learned a lot about some of my friends and I also got some invaluable inputs for my walk with God. Truly a very blessed Friday. Thank you, Lord for everything!

Blessed in Baguio

Blessed in Baguio

I just came from a mini-retreat in Baguio. After 2,527 days, I came back to the so-called "Most Peaceful City in the Philippines". (at least that's what I saw on the signboard on Kennon Road. ^_^


Baguio horizon at around 5:30 AM

Anyway, it was such a blast. I went with my discipler, Kuya Ryan, his sister, Rizza and the other campus missionaries. We had devotionals every night and we brainstormed on how to improve Jzone. It was simply awesome how God answered the little prayers that we asked from parking to sunshine. Everything was so timely that it could have only been orchestrated by Him. *sigh* Yes, God is in the details.


Kuya Ryan at the back and the campus missionaries ^_^

Kuya Ryan: (while driving along Session Road) "O guys, pray for parking."
10 seconds pass
Kuya Ryan: (stops beside an empty parking space and looks at us) "Pwede ba dito?" ^_^

Kuya Ryan: (while sitting at the back of the Starex) "Let's pray na hindi umulan." (we wanted to play mini-golf)

*We get to the mini-golf place with the sun absolutely nowhere in sight and then by the time we get to the 9th hole, we were already taking off our jackets because we were already sweating. After we leave the mini-golf area, it starts to drizzle. o_0


It was my first time to play mini-golf! L-)

And last but not the least, during our last day we wanted to eat at along Session Road. We just came from the market for our pasalubong shopping and decided to eat this one resto, Sizzling Plate. Knowing how cramped up that stretch can be at night, we prayed for parking again. Guess where we found an empty slot? Hahaha! Right in front of Sizzling Plate!

Only by God's grace! How wonderful to witness Him working in our midst! Praise God! :)

WD4J Dance Concert

WD4J Dance Concert 2005

The show absolutely rocked.

When I was watching those 20 people dance, I was absolutely stunned. I have to admit that I love dancing (although it doesn't love me) and I also love watching people dance. Seeing them serve the Lord through through dance just blessed me so much.

WD4J stands for “We Dance For Jesus”. It's CCF's very own dance ministry that serves God and seeks to bring the message of the gospel to everybody. In the Bible, you'll see several allusions for dancing as a form of worship to God. It is associated with joy and contrasted with mourning. “You turned my mourning into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy” (Psalm 30:11) After several people gave their testimonies of how their broken lives were changed by Jesus' love, that verse literally came alive when I saw them dance.

Some of us are mostly accustomed to associating miracles to people being healed from cancer or to reports of a survivor of a plane crash. Those amazing stories pale in comparison to changed lives. After all, wouldn't your life be changed if you suddenly went from "terminally ill" to a person who has a "clean bill of health"? Would you not say it was a miracle if you survived a plane crash when two-thirds of the people onboard perished?

Words fail me now but all I know is if you are in Jesus' love, your life will never be the same again. No life is so broken that God cannot mend it. No soul is so unlovely that God cannot love it. Praise God and glory to Him alone! Thank you, Lord!!!

Amidst A Squall

Amidst A Squall

"As the waters cover the sea, so Your love covers me..."

Last night I cried myself to sleep listening to these lyrics. I just didn't know what was wrong. I was feeling so down and discouraged because of some things. Sometimes, I just can't help but feel so lost and homesick in this fallen world. I wonder sometimes why things are so complicated. I just pray that God takes away the restlessness that I feel right now.

There are times that I want so much to understand why things happen to me. I so desperately want to just understand why I am having these feelings. And amidst all of the confusion that I am in now, all I can do is ask God what He wants me to learn in all of this.

"Lord, if this will bring me closer to you, then I'm all for it. Let the waves come and allow the wind to beat against me, but take me through the storm."

CCF is now 21!

CCF is now 21!

We celebrated CCF's 21st Anniversary last Sunday at the Araneta Coliseum. The place was packed to the tune of about 15,000 people. I would like to describe the feeling of what it is to praise and worship the Lord in such a setting but words fail me. I caught myself smiling while singing "Days of Elijah".

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!



Praising the Lord

It was definitely an unbelievable experience. To begin the worship service, we sang some songs. We sang for a full 45 minute stretch but it felt like it was only a minute. I realized that all of eternity will not be enough for me to declare how God good is and how grateful I am. *sigh*



Humbled in the presence of God

So much to learn about our God...we still continue with our willful ways yet He is ever-loving. Whatever perfect love you're looking for, you will ALWAYS find in Him.

Thank you, Lord!

A Rare Morning

A Rare Morning

It's 5:30 in the morning and I'm wide awake. The only time I remember being like this is when I'm going to an out of town trip or something like that. Even though I've only managed to sleep for just about an hour, I'm wide awake. I had one of the most meaningful quiet times an hour ago. I guess it was because I was able to wake up and pray to God in total silence. Nothing in the background. Just me and God.

It was just simply wonderful. *sigh* I always love the promise of Jeremiah 29:13 because it holds true for me each and every time I practice it. It says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Grabe. I feel like I'm in love again. I wish feelings were as easily conveyed as words. For the people who've never experienced falling in love with God, you're missing a lot. And I mean that with all sincerity.

Thank you, Lord. "Hold me in your arms, never let me go. I want to spend eternity with you....I wanna be with you." - Hillsongs

IMG_350D

IMG_350D

A year ago, I never thought about starting a new hobby. I never pictured myself getting into photography. But here I am, already the enthusiastic shutterbug. I didn't realize it was so much fun. Right now, I'm just so grateful to God for leading me to pursue this newfound passion. Also I thank Him for blessing me with a brand new dSLR. *sigh*

Introducing my new baby... ^_^



Not the actual cam but yes, I got the black one.




A manual never looked so good.




Our cute and cheerful Labrador who is aptly named "Bubbles"




Just some barbed wire fencing our neighbor's lot.


I once thought photography was such a simple thing but there's so much more to learn about color, ISO settings, composition, depth of field. It's still a bit daunting for me because I only learned the meaning of these terms around a month ago. It's scary getting into a new hobby but as an artist-at-heart, it's also exciting for me because it's the closest thing I can get to portraying the world around me. I would have gone into painting but I'm not good at it.

Now, I'm just trying to work my way with what I know and hopefully, I'll be able to pick up some nifty tricks of the trade from the people who have more experience in this new hobby of mine. ^_^

To God be all the glory!